got the devil dancing in my head
i just wanna watch the motherfucking blood spread
got the devil dancing in my head
i just wanna watch the fucking world turn red

i hear you
talking that shit behind my back saying that i’m crazy
i was born to play this game, it’s the way that they raised me
grinding my fists to dust, you think this life didn’t change me?
questioning every day if i’m even worth saving

but i'm not

living every day like i'm a fucking disease
i can’t seem to fight my hyperviolent tendencies
like a dog, i gnaw on bones to sharpen all my teeth
and, if the bruises aren’t on you, then they’re inside of me
you cast me in your fucking play on full display
does it make you proud to know that i’m your biggest mistake?
does it tear you up to know that i’m still breathing today?
will you stand and clap when curtains close and i’m in the grave?

yeah
clap for me
your own catastrophe

questions run through my head
with the shit that you said
is this me? how i’m bred?
are these lies i’ve been fed?
i can see how it ends
family and my friends
apology in advance
i just can’t do this dance
no

⦿
i've always been convinced that i was the problem.
too loud. too quiet.
too strong. too weak.
too cold. too soft.
no one tried to help me.
no one cared enough to put me on the right path.
eventually, you start to believe it, you know?
"you're weird."
"you've got issues."
"you're crazy."
"you should see a therapist."
has it ever occurred to anyone saying this shit that maybe...
just maybe...
you're just pouring salt in the wound?
nature versus nurture: the eternal question.
for myself, though, i can say that my environment played a much larger role.
constant abuse. constant neglect. constant conflict. constant lies.
yet it all fell upon me.
i guess that's true in a sense.
i was your seed and this is what you chose to water me with.